i am an agnostic atheist. for those of you unaware of what this means, i will let you know that i do not believe that a God exists, but i am not 100% certain (though my certainty is growing with the research that i do).
hip hop actually led me to non-theism. as a child i was baptized catholic and went to church. my mother soon broke away from catholicism, becoming a protestant. because i was so young, i was obligated to follow. i would go to church and get "saved" and i recall nothing ever happening. i wanted God to talk to me so bad and when i watched my friends looking rejuvenated and happy after being saved it made me feel bad. "why not me, God?" i thought. at that time, as a young child already immersed in philosophy without even realizing it, the media and people around me had me convinced that atheists worshiped the devil, so i never got a chance to really delve into it like i did with other subjects. being from a family that is less strict with religion than the average Christian household, i was never coerced to "take it on faith". it wasn't until i was about 15 that i realized what faith meant at which time i immediately knew it was bullshit. why take everything else on logic, science, reason, etc., but have an exception for religion? from that day on, though i remained a christian for another 4 years, by the time i was 19 i had already long been listening to hip hop. i, at this point, began to hear a lot of references to five-percenters. after studying their beliefs, i became one for a short period of time (a few months). after talking with actual members of the NGE, i decided to create my own philosophy that was partially based on science. little did i realize, but through this philosophy, i had aligned myself with pantheism. when i was 21 i took my first philosophy course. through this course i became an atheist, then an agnostic, and shortly after the course was over, i began identifying myself as an agnostic atheist. i'm 22 now and my journey is just beginning.
