The other day I had a Danish man enter my tent in the mountains; the location of my whereabouts will not be disclosed in any of my blogs, if you have a question you may ask it here and I will consider answering it later on. For now I am merely writing these philosophies for myself and maybe 5 other people maximum but we shall see how far I will go with this thing. To carry on with what I was saying; The Danish man entered my tent and asked me: "KtP, since you're so all knowing, what is the meaning of life?"

Although his tone of voice sounded as if he was mocking KtP I remained calm; I always do, being the great monk I am. It is a solitary life I lead here, up in the mountains and I have learned a long time ago that being angry at someone will never help you and is bad for your spiritual self and so I carried on to reply to this 'ugly-ass-shoe-wearing' Danish man.

"The meaning of life?" I asked mockingly, laughing in the Dane's face. That's not even a remotely tough question but I shall do my best to answer it thoroughly. I believe that one day, many many years ago God was a bit bored of life where he was. His angels were boring him; Satan, being the nice musician he used to be (the Angel of Music) was starting to bore him with the same old melodies and the others weren't really talking about anything worth listening to. There wasn't much happening in heaven until God had an idea; He would pick up his pro tools and create a planet. It was to be great, filled with small replicas of God himself.

He made that planet and created the mortals who started making far better music than his Angel of Music and so one day; Satan came into God's room while he was listening to Tupac's new album, Me Against the World. Furious Satan started yelling at God, asking him whether his music was good enough for him or not. God said: "Now, now Satan. Don't be a playa hata, Tupac is a genius! He brought something new to the table, rhythm, flow, emotion, rhymes. You need to put down your harmonica and start rapping ma dawg."

Needless to say Satan did not like his comment and so he insulted Tupac: "What, you mean to tell me that this jiggaboo makes better music than I?" God, not liking Satan's comment struck him with a bolt of lightning and threw him out of heaven while saying: "Yo dawg, don't insult Pac again or I'ma come afta yo ass, you betta recognize it's West Side 4 Life dawg.. straight up."

Of course nothing that's good lasts forever (On this earth, it could do in heaven.) And so Satan, still being furious with God's preference of listening to Hip-Hop made a deal with two people. One of them being Souljah Boy and the other Lil Wayne. He sent these two agents of the devil to destroy Hip-Hop, which they did. Lyricism was murdered in cold blood and regular voices overtaken by something that sounded like a kitten being murdered; They called this feature they used to create that sound Autotune.

But what is it that made God create the earth? What are we supposed to do here? I believe that the answer to that is in fact; Free pornography. 'God is everywhere' and that would indicate that he is there even while you're in your bedroom, making sweet love to your partner. We are replicas of God, are we not? It would make sense that he would have the same interest in sex as we all do. Although, yes I am not advocating any promiscuity; That's what AIDS is here for, killing everybody who does that.

I'm going to tackle one more issue here today; I heard some feminist say once that "God created Adam first but he was imperfect so he created Eve; the perfect version of a human being." This just illustrates the fact that women are in fact illiterate and not capable of learning how to read. Adam was a replica of God and once Adam got lonely God made the woman to service Adam.