i came up with the concept of the song around when i had decided to give up on religion, the working title is "hear my train coming" which i got from the jimi hendrix song. i got the idea when i was waiting for the bus one day and the sign said delayed, and i was thinking about how believers still wait for the messaiah and how he's kind of like the bus driver who keeps delaying the time he'll arrive making everyone wait longer until they finally give up on waiting for the driver and decide he isn't coming
it's dope but it's obvious you still don't know how to structure a track. there are several choruses in that beat and it sounds like you just wrote bars and said fuck writing to fit the lyrics to the beat, i'm just going to write until i'm content with what i wrote. i'm not saying you need to fit it into this structure every time, but what some YT videos that teach how to count bars and how to structure a hip hop song and start by simply holding to a 16 bar verse, 8 bar hook structure for now and then try to switch it up later when you are truly ready to do so. i guarantee your music will sound much more professional. my new theme song
erikboyd60@hotmail.com
"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"
thanks, yeah i know what you mean by the choruses, i wrote it to a different beat before but i didn't like how it matched so i'd been looking for another beat for the track for a while, thats why i didn't have a chorus on it yet, thats also why i kept rapping after the beat finished, thanks for the feedback, i'll definitely add a chorus now http://chirbit.com/emseed http://youtube.com/siwooot
