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Forum » Off-Topic » Creative Writing » "MadCap" by I_Guy (Crime Drama (1920s Chicago))
"MadCap" by I_Guy
eboyd_ Date: Monday, 24/Nov/08, 1:57 AM | Message # 16

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absolutely.
EmSeeD Date: Monday, 24/Nov/08, 3:11 AM | Message # 17

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Quote (I_Guy)

Does anyone suffer from over-articulation? I think I do, and it prevents me from ever feeling like anything I create is done.

when it comes to writting lyrics yeah i do, esp when i go first in the battles i tend to put too many rhymes in there coz im too picky, unless i have a really good concept and plan it properly.


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I_Guy Date: Monday, 24/Nov/08, 6:01 AM | Message # 18

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Chapter 2: Unsteady Hands

Five knocks at the door brought Verne to it. Leon in a grey wool overcoat and a grey tuxedo entered and shook the trembling hand of Verne’s with both hands while greeting him. “How ya’ doin’, Verne,” Leon said in a low-toned, voice.

“Ok,” he replied. Verne took Leon’s coat off and hung it on a flimsy coat rack near the door. He stopped to admire its authentic cashmere and Leon pivoted to admire the room. The room was modest and the furniture comprised of mostly oak wood detail. A couch sat over a mosaic rug before them, and a staircase exited to the upper floor on their right as they faced into the main room. Leon leaned to peer down a hallway on the left side of the staircase and turned to Verne. “Zoey cleaned up quite nice here, didn’t she Vern. What’d ya’ do to get her to do that?”

“Nothin’,” he replied. “She respects you. The minute she heard your name she got right to it.”

“Bizzy Bee.” Impressed, Leon humbly nodded and curiously looked about.
Verne made way through the main room and into the dining room. He pulled a chair from under a small table, then pulled another on the opposite side and seated himself, bringing his arm across and over the table with an open hand, motioning Leon to sit. The room was dim. Just a light on the edge of the table illuminated their fronts. Verne picked up an awaiting deck of cards from the center of the table and Leon fell into curiosity. “Damn, Verne, how’d ya’ get that?” Leon pointed to Verne’s wounded cheek.

Verne lifted his hands to expose their unsteadiness, and tilted his head sarcastically. “How do ya’ think? Hey, don’t worry about it.” Discomfited, Verne examined the card box and buckled with slight self-consciousness as he sat before Leon’s observing sight. After a moment of mutually uneasy silence, Verne spoke quietly and shrugged his shoulders with discontent. “I just thought we’d count cards, you know I ain’t played wit’ ya’ in a while. So, what are you all polished up for?”

Leon straightened his collar and pulled his tux tight as he examined it. After a moment of thought he looked to Verne. “There’s no need to feel uncomfortable here Verne. How long have we been in relation?… Forever it seems right? And I know I haven’t seen ya’ in what seems like just as long, but I was hopin’ maybe I could take ya’ out tonight. I mean I know it’s kinda’ last minute and all, and I know I’m catchin’ ya’ by surprise wit’ this, but hey, I haven’t seen ya’ in so long and I’ve been sendin’ them errand boys so much, I began to forget what ya’ look like. Ya’ know what I mean. So, I wanna change that. I wanna’ take ya’ out. Let‘s do somethin’.”

Verne, shuffling the cards, paused with surprise and with his head bowed, looked up at Leon unsure of what awaited him.

“After a game of cards first, of course,” Leon continued. “One game, right?”

Verne looked up. “Well I planned on a few.”

Leon rolled his eyes unsurprised. “Nah see, I planned on takin’ ya’ out, Verne.” He smirked. “What’d ya’ think, I was goin’ to sit up late wit’ ya’ and flip cards all night.”

Verne shrugged shuddery eyed and lackadaisically as a limp look of looming boredom overtook his face.

Leon crossed his fingers and placed them on the table as he spoke modestly. “I’m a busy man now Verne, you know that.”

“Yeah I know that!” Verne responded turning harshly to the side of his wooden seat. He arose quickly and dropped the cards lightly to the table. Leon remained sitting, and reached for the deck.

“You’re not dealin’ them cards,” Verne warned quickly and sternly. Displeased, Leon set them down.

Verne opened the refrigerator, peeked in and quickly closed it. “Zoey! Zoey!” He waited for a response, but no response came. “Zoey!!!”

“What?” she yelled annoyed from above. Feet sounded down the stairs. “What!” her voice starting on a sharp decline into softness, as Leon came into her eye.

Verne stood in the doorway. “Look in the ice box!”

After a moment of hesitation, she did so. “So, what about it?”

Slumped, Verne turned to her and licked his K-9 under his lip. “What’s missing?”

“Oh,” she said sighing and closing the fridge door. She speedily found the doorway.

Verne yelled out the doorway, “I told you to keep it filled.” Vern turned his angry eyes to the table.

Zoey descended the cellar stairs into darkness. Her stomps expressed her thoughts,
--pissed off. “Why does he have to do that in front of him? Bastard!”

Verne's weight crept onto the chair, and his elbows felt the grain of the table. He arched the cards and tried to regain steady breath.

Leon stared at him curiously. “Zoey don’t deserve that kind thing Verne. My advice is treat her nice, she’ll treat you nice. Know what I mean? Ya’ ever thinka’ that?”

Verne looked up at him quickly. “I don’t need your suggestion. Don’t tell me how to talk to Zoey. It’s not as easy as it sounds anyway. You don’t know her, or hear her. She’s dizzy Leo. Down right Dizzy. Don’t you go off presumin’.”

Leon raised his fingers off the table and waved them. “Alright. Just settle down, will ya’.”

Verne turned quickly and again yelled in the direction of the doorway, “I will, once she gets up here with my calm.”


We all know that each of our end is near; the question is do we accept the end of our living existence, or do we accept our existence as dead men...

Message edited by I_Guy - Tuesday, 25/Nov/08, 6:58 AM
Lord_Meth Date: Monday, 24/Nov/08, 10:02 AM | Message # 19

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you need to get laid man....

that was fucked up angry


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EmSeeD Date: Monday, 24/Nov/08, 8:42 PM | Message # 20

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is it possible to write it in another color? coz reading to much white words on a black background is actually bad for your eyes and the reason why people don't tend to read the whole thing if its like that, coz it puts too much strain on the eye.

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I_Guy Date: Monday, 24/Nov/08, 9:52 PM | Message # 21

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Verne pulled a cigarette from his shirt pocket, and set it ablaze. Smoke overtook the moderate kitchen/dining room as Vern tilted his head back and, every time, blew the smoke high into the air. Fumbling the cards, Verne tried to steady them as he shuffled. Anger pulled back the glow of the tobacco. Frustration pulled back the glow of his face. He leaned closer to the deck fossiling in his hands. Deeper into the table lamp he leaned in hopes of suiting his concentration. Verne struck the deck on its side with force on the table. His thumb struggled to slide the top cards from the deck. He jumped from his seat and pain penetrated his lip. The glow of the butt became dim as it stuck and burned his lip. He slapped it off, and stomped it. “God damn it.”

Leon stuttered, “I, I was goin’ to let ya’ know, but you were focused and I….”

“Here!” Vern slapped the deck next to Leon's hand and returned to a slump in his seat. He kept his eyes on his shaking hands gripped together. “I can’t handle like I used to. It’s these god damn hands! Some times I feel like cuttin’em off.” A small angry curl in his lip surfaced, but disappeared, as a dinging came close.

Eight fingers clung to a wooden crate weighted by bottles wrapped in a white label that read nothing but “O.B. White Lightening.” One finger hit a switch and the face of Zoey came into the light.

Verne sat up. “What are you doing? Turn the damn light off. You know I can’t stand that.”
She paused and a sharp glare cut Verne's edge. Verne shifted his look and spoke more directly. “What are ya’ lookin’ at me for? TURN IT OFF!”

She reversed and slapped the switch. Cool hit her face as she stood before the refrigerator filling its shelves with glass. A draft of cool air fell to the floor as the refrigerator door swung wide. It crept out slowly, over, and up across Verne and the table. Verne's shaking hand came around and hovered in her direction. A bottle hit his hand and soon his lips. The fire funneled his throat and an inferno engulfed his stomach. He twisted his neck up and right into satisfaction. “Goodbye,” he said sarcastically.

Zoey angled the doorway and disappeared. As she did, a sharp bright light struck the room. Verne’s fists balled and his teeth came tight. “Ya’ see what I mean Leon? She does it on purpose. That’s that type…..” His breath exited like steam. He rocketed across the room and killed the filament. His forehead glowed as hot as the bulb. He pulled his chair directly beneath the bulb, stood upon the wooden seat and pushed through the burn of the twist. The bulb left its socket and fell into the bowl he made in his shirt. The impact of the trash bottom sent it into pieces. “Let’s see her do that again” he said harshly. A ringing screamed within his skull. Vern crept to the fridge. “Do you want one while I’m up?” He pointed to his bottle.

Leon shrugged. “Hell, why not?”

Verne returned to his seat to find his set of cards in a pile. The cold glass wetted Leon's fingertips and the fire soon hit his throat the same. Leon nodded and protruded his lips. “This is damn good, Verne.”

Verne lit another roll of tobacco, unsurprised. “I know. It’s my brew. I brewed these up at least five years ago, I think around ‘26. I’ve saved’em. I see you can tell?”

Leon nodded again. “I’ve never had your stuff. No wonder you pay up so easy. You got good brew. Bet this really sells huh?”

There was a moment of silence, as they each looked at their cards. Verne struggled to even his collection in his hands.

Leon repeatedly took his eyes from his cards to Verne. “Have you ever hit her?”

Verne looked up unexpectedly. He pulled the cigarette from his lips and shook his head with a smirk. “No way.”

Leon raised his shoulders innocently. “I was just wonderin’, ‘cuz you got so damn aggressive.”

Verne’ voice became strict. “I’ve never done that. No way, I hate beasts that hit on their women. I really hate that bitch sometimes, but no matter how much that is, I‘ll never hit‘er!”
Leon leaned back in his seat, and Verne laid his arms on the table to lean forward. “Matter’a fact it’s been a long time since I hurt anybody.”

Leon released a minor laugh through his nose and tilted his head in question. “What ever made you decide to stop? I mean, you had somethin’ good goin’ for ya’.”

Verne pushed the smoke out of his lungs and collapsed the butt in the ash. A provoked tone took his voice and he spoke as if he had waited to speak. “I didn’t just decide. It was decided for me. You know what they said.” Verne paused, “You know, about how I was goin’ crazy. They used to call me Jekyll. Like the story, you remember?”

Leon shifted in his seat uncomfortably and nodded. Verne's eyes turned to his bottle. “I’ve never figured it out. Why’d they call me that?”

Leon elevated his head with an unexpected burden. “Well Verne. It’s hard to say. Sometimes you’d come around as fine as you could be. But other times… you’d be out of your mind. Almost… crazy.

Stiffness came to Verne’s index as he leaned forward and laid it in Leon’s sight. “Do not say that. That word lost me a lot. I will not hear it now, especially from you.”

Leon closed his eyes. “Alright Verne, calm down. It’s out of thought.”

Verne dropped his forehead onto his hand and shook his head. “Sorry Leo, I just get little steamed about the past stuff.”

Leon tossed a card down and drew another. Verne laid his cards face down and his lips emptied the bottle. Thoughts raced in his mind, made obvious by various altering expressions. He tensed his fists and neck. He circled his head in frustration and thumped his bottle bottom to the table. His breaths were deep and worked up, and rhythmic. He boiled as if he was delving into an unresolved irresistible issue. His eyes began to glaze and he began to speak with a tighter jaw.
“So many sounds in Chicago. I was just contributing. You know? Some days I was afraid I’d kiss the bedrock. But in deeper thought, I didn’t mind much. I shoveled so many noisemakers like me, now that I look at it, I can‘t believe it. Because I knew by eliminating them, left the good chances for me. Any frustration I had, any anger or distress, I could take out on them. With no consequences. It actually gave me satisfaction because I knew each time for damn sure I sent another deserving soul down to hell. Every time I stood over somebody, that was the only concept that spoke to my mind and the only image that brought a smirk to my lips. It was like an objective. Or a mission. That upon every aim, I drove another plunging into eternal burning, and by me, donated at the barrels burst. It’s a powerful feeling. It‘s a godlike feeling. To determine someone’s existence at the drop of a hammer. Nothing amounts. You know that.” Verne leaned back and exposed his shaky palms. “Does that make me crazy?”

Leon shook his head and absorbed a large breath as he prepared to speak. “No Verne. I‘ve had them thoughts the same…”

“Yeah Leo, but do you have’em every night. I say that stuff to myself probably once a night hoping some night I’d figure out how to justify myself. So far… that’s all I’ve come up with.”

Leon nodded his head. “I’ve come to realize, we are the infected of an infecting society. You can’t blame yourself for them things, Verne. You were just one more infection.

“See, that’s exactly it. When “Boss” told me I was through, I realized everything I had been living was nothing’ but a sideshow compared to him, the main attraction. Only thing is, now you have what he had and what I always wanted. Your at the top Leo.”

Added (08/Nov/24, 9:52 Pm)
---------------------------------------------
Verne was silent as he fell into slight realization, and Leon sat blank but thinking the same. Verne began to speak in a retracted whisper. “Now look at me. What do I do? I run a god damned still, by my self, and drink up as much as I sell. I can’t help it but I get angry Leo. Call it wounded pride I suppose, or failing confidence or whatever, but one thing’s for sure, it’s all gone to hell. All of it. I tried to go back around them folks at the bar for a while after, but it was like visiting the asshole of Mars. Once the Boss dismissed me, it was as if no one noted. God damn them. All that time paid with counterfeit smiles. I could see their cheeks crease and their lips take shape, so easily as the phoniness guided their smile, sparked their eyes, and opened their arms; but only because their was a trained fold ya’ see. But once I was up and out, I saw it no more. I was just a tool. And there’s no room in the toolbox for a rusty tool. I was no longer significant, no one gave a damn anymore. I could die the next night; it’d just be one more empty bar seat. No one would notice, they’d just fill it. You don’t know how that feels Leo.” Verne pulled his fingers tight. “To think you’re respected and established, and then no more because one man says so. People before that glorified me. It’s like they say. I was hated ‘cuz I was loved and loved ‘cuz I was hated. Like I was some kinda’ villain. And that’s why there’s no regret. Only hate. Why was I somebody? Because I could leave a man toe up? God, they got it so screwed up.” Verne got up and pressed on to the fridge. “Hell, at least they let me go in peace. Because I did so much for’em. Talk about water under the bridge though. With these hands now, I’d never again steady an aim.” Verne shook his head. “Here I go soundin’ up like always. It doesn’t matter…. Nuthin’ really matters anymore. Nothing‘s ever really matters, when you put a little thought to it.” He waved his arm about. “A dead man across town, a little boy‘s dead pet, a car wreck. None of it really matters.”

Leon turned in his seat and placed his elbows on his knees keeping his bottle in hand. “It does matter. I feel your weight Verne. I think your shootin’ it fine and straight.” Leon twisted his bottle in his hand. “I‘m glad you brought it up. It‘s something I wanted to talk about with you.”

Verne shook his head wide eyed. Their voices spoke silence. At the fridge, the cold hit Verne’s hot face and sent a file to his edge. His body relaxed, as did his tone of voice. Leon put his pupils to the ceiling. “You said you don’t have any regret. But you sure sound like you do. It must eat at you.”

“I don’t know Leo. I can’t place it. I’d like to think I don’t. But I might. Not from what I’ve done. From what I haven’t done.” Verne pulled the cap from the bottle and leaned to the counter. “Every time it snows I thinka’ that town apartment down town me and Zoey used to live in. You remember? I remember one night I had just come home from a lousy job that the Boss gave me. I had a bottle in my hand and I was listenin’ to the new news on the radio. It was funny because the news I was hearin’ was caused by me that very night. Anyhow, I heard some fuss across the street. By the time I got to the window, I saw a man layin’ face down in my lawn. Red was spreadin’ around him and I just watched him waitin’ for him to get up and spread his mess all over my front door. But he didn’t. I was thankin’ God. So I didn’t have to deal with it ya’ know. It was cold and I was half-dressed. I kept on openin’ the shades occasionally to catch a look at him.” Verne spoke lazily, but passionately. His trance like stare issued a notice to Leon that Verne was lost in the head; a glass zombie. Verne spoke further, “The next morning I watched the pigeons pick his blood from the snow. Turned out he had a disagreement with a friend in a game of cards, just like we’re playin’ right here. They said he had a stab wound to his stomach. And the funny thing is, he didn’t die from that. He didn’t die from the stab wound. He froze. In a tank top and slacks. He musta' stumbled across the street and came face down out front of my place. At the time, my theory was live and let die. It wasn’t my business. Death is promised to all but not warranted. But it ain‘t my job to prevent the warrant. You know what I mean?” Verne lent more weight to the counter, entranced with his eyes on his reflection in the window behind the card table. “I wish I helped that man. I bet he laid there waitin’ for my door to swing open with help. It didn’t. He‘s in a some box some where, in some hole, in some state of decay. Rotting, with worms and vermin crawlin’ through his bones. Because of me. He was no criminal. He was no enemy. I left him there to slowly ice over, solid in death.”

Sweat from the bottle accumulated in Verne’s palm. He laid the bottle aside and ran his hand lightly over the top of his hair. He released a long awaited sigh. “I wanna’ get away, Leo. I’ve been wantin’ to get away a long time.”

“To where?” Leon questioned.

“I’m thinkin’ Kansas City. Zoey don’t wanna’ move. I don’t know what I’m doin’. I could get up and leave any damn time I wish. She’d just have to deal with it. I’m tired of runnin’ this still. I wish I could get rid of it. This business is bad news. You know what happened to Moran.

You know Leo. You’re the only person on the planet that I consider worth talking to anymore.” Verne threw his arms in the air. "I feel casted out. But through it all you remain." Verne was silent, as if putting thought to his words. Leon did the same. Verne began, "Enough with this, where we goin’.”

Leon arose. “A Speak Easy.” The door slammed behind them.


We all know that each of our end is near; the question is do we accept the end of our living existence, or do we accept our existence as dead men...

Message edited by I_Guy - Monday, 24/Nov/08, 9:52 PM
eboyd_ Date: Monday, 24/Nov/08, 10:25 PM | Message # 22

Removed
Cool. I liked how you used the first chapter to set up the atmosphere, then let the second display the dilemma or at least some sort of dilemma. You've noe set up tension for an event to occur. Something big. I can't wait!
I_Guy Date: Tuesday, 25/Nov/08, 7:59 AM | Message # 23

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I often thought of Leon in the style of Edward G. Robinson.

Chapter 3: Speak Easy

It grew darker that evening. A vintage 1929 Cadillac crept onto a gravel parking lot with slow advancement. Within sat Leon and Verne. They came to a stop overlooking the Lake Michigan bay and sat there in silence with blank awkward stares.
Leon broke the silence. “I bought a crossbow, from an old sports shop when I was 26. The guy really talked me into it. Twenty bucks for a crossbow. It came with five bows. I put that thing in my trunk and was on the head home. A feelin’ kept eatin’ at me. I pulled over. I think I was on a downtown shop strip. I opened the trunk, got that baby out. I got back in on the passenger side. I rolled down my window about 3 inches or so. I placed a bow on the shoot, gave it room in the window and planted it in the face of a passing man. He fell to the ground and started bleedin’, people started runnin’ around and screamin’ and all that mindless nonsense. But he just layed there with that metal bow stickin’ out his face. I rolled up my window and just sat there. Everybody was lookin’ around. No one even knew the killer was five feet from the scene. Five feet from them. Somebody leaned down and peered in my window. I pointed the bow right in her face. How easy it would have been. Of course, I had tented windows and she couldn’t see in, but she kept tryin’. I found it amazing how in that one second that man was dead and in that one second it could cause such chaos on that street over a man none of them knew. I sped off and went home. It wasn’t a hit. I did that for no reason at all.” Leon nodded as he spoke and smirked uncomfortably. “No reason other than to see if it would work. Now I think…. I think that’s as close as I have come to regret. But the feeling. The feeling was so definite. Beyond the routine assignments. The feeling. It was beyond comprehension. And now I think about what you said earlier. That man is layin’ in some box somewhere, in some hole, in some state of decay. That’s a striking image Verne. I put’em there.”

Verne sat uncertain with nothing to respond. He did not look at Leon and Leon did not look at him. “You remember this place Verne?”

Verne nodded slowly. “Of course.”

Leon tilted his head and viewed the building through the windshield. “Everybody still comes here ya’ know. Your sure you‘re alright with comin’ here. We can always go to your joint if you want. It‘s lonely there, but if you want to.”

Verne looked out his side window unsure. “This is fine.”

Leon found the cool lake wind in his face as he exited his car and drifted towards a building on the beach with a sign reading “Lance’s”. He turned to see Verne still seated in the car staring at his lap. Leon cupped his mouth. “Come on Verne. What are ya’ waitin’ for. Afraid to get sand in your shoes.” He motioned to Verne. “Come on.”

The door opened as Verne prepared himself for social interaction. He caught up to Leon and Leon turned to him. “Take your shoes off.”

Verne looked at him in hesitation.

Leon grinned.. “Unless you want sandcastles in your shoes.”
Small shrubs dotted the faint beach and the sand was fine and sunk deep as they stepped. A tree line greened the sides of the small beach and rapped the lake for a long distance. Parts of the city could be seen to the left shimmering its life above the low trees. It was night now and the moon smiled upon the waves as it enjoyed its reflection. The waves echoed their motion in a rhythmic manner, effectively setting rest to any spawning tension in Verne’s mind. Verne kept his eyes to the ground and pondered his thoughts calmly as they approached the door. “Will they remember me? Can they remember me? Will they try to remember me? Will they want to remember? Will they even care to remember me?”

With Leon leading, they approached the entrance. Before the door sat a concrete slab where Leon and Verne re-entered their shoes. Beyond the entrance, they entered a small lobby and came to another door with a host standing before it. Leon held his hands together at his stomach, cleared his throat and spoke to the host directly. “Joe sent me.”

The host’s hand found the doorknob and a room was opened before them. Slowly they entered its space. Verne felt he occupied insignificantly little space, in comparison to Leon.
“Please remember me,” he thought. “God damn, it‘d be a shame if they don‘t remember me! They have to…how could they not?”

As they entered, a circular bar operated at their right and the explosion of trumpets, saxophones, and drums sounded with a slow tempo on a low stage with a small dance area in front of it at their left. The area was lit primarily with neon lights and signs. It offered a soothing environment but the noise offered the opposite. Verne avoided eye contact with those passing and he did not speak, but thought anxiously. “So far nobody. Give’em a chance.”

A man approached with a smile and met Leon with a hug and tried to speak over the instruments. “Ya’ come on a good night Leo. Lance is getting a new shipment tonight.”

“I heard. That‘s why I’ve come. I owe‘em a favor.”

The man took his eyes off Leon and turned them to Verne. “Who’s this loser. I’ve been watchin’. Ya’ noticed Leo. He’s been following’ ya’ around ever since ya’ walked in.” Sluggishly he walked around Leon and Leon turned to face the mans back. The man stood eye to eye with Verne. He became sharp and pointed with his words. “Get lost. What, ya’ think followin’ the big man around makes ya’ somebody’? Why don’t you beat it!”

Leon turned and placed his hand on the man’s shoulder. “Woe, Woe, Woe. Idle down. He’s wit’ me.”

Light laughs emitted the man‘s words. “What Leo ya’ get a new errand boy or somethin’. He sure looks like a cheap errand boy to me. Looks like some kinda' God-damned “Leo” replica.” The man’s tone steepened and his head twisted in antagonism. “Ya’ got your birth mark on your asshole like Leo too? Bet you do don’t ya’, ya’ pathetic son of a bitch. I see you type of fellas’ all the time. Only live to breathe his exhaust. I gotta’ ask. How‘s it taste.”

Verne wiped his cheeks with a hand, took his stare away from the bar and slowly turned to migrate his eyes over the man’s shoulders to Leon on the opposite side. Leon stood with a smirk staring at the back of the man’s head almost finding pleasure in Verne’s harassment. Leon’s eyes soon found Verne’s gawking from around the imposing man’s head. Verne found no need to blink. Although he verbalized not a word, his stare unwound the message clearly. ‘You son of a bitch.’ Leon’s interpretation matured accurately and he stepped forward. “Hey. Now before we have a bar room brawl here, let us start again. Verne this is Spadie Truda. Spadie this is Vernon Largo.”

Spaidie spoke disgustedly, “Is that so now? The legendary Vernon Largo. That ain’t worth a damn.”

Verne’s shaky muscles tensed slightly more and he spoke almost whispering. “So you’ve hearda' me?”

“Yeah, Yeah. I’ve hearda’ ya’. I’ve heard stories of that name. But they’re just stories… and a name” Spadie leaned slightly closer. “But ya’ see that ain’t worth a damn to me. Because the past ain’t worth a damn to me. You’re the past pal and the past ain’t goin’ nowhere. I hope you know that, ‘cuz I’m up next. I’ve waited a long time and I’m steady steppin’ to the plate, leavin’ all the worst for you jack. It’s Leo and Spadie on the jobs now. So don't even think about it.”

Added (08/Nov/25, 7:59 Am)
---------------------------------------------
A shallow beat in Verne‘s mind thumped distinctively and solid on two pulsating temples accompanied with a raging solo performed by anger again rumbling a dark opera in his mind. Spadie placed his hand on Verne’s shoulders. “If ya’ got trouble sleepin’, say it to ya’ self. See how it sounds. Leo and Spadie on the jobs. It’ll sing ya’ to sleep. I guarantee it.” Spadie stepped back to stand side by side with Leon who was looking on into the crowd.
“Look at’em Leo. He can’t even stand steady. He’s scared. Just from that. Look at his hands trembling’. Like a scared little rabbit. Pathetic.”

Verne spoke quietly. “My hands always tremble…”

Spadie turned away swiftly and placed his arm on Leon’s back suggesting a path. They disappeared into the crowd.

By now, the tempo in Verne’s mind pounded and the ringing began its slow roar in his ear. The band behind him seemed to be blasting louder than ever almost as if to purposely irritate him. Their sounds penetrated and he felt them slamming axes into his lingering calm. He seated himself on a bar stool and inspected the crowd. Many people he recognized, but he did not attempt to self-present. His thoughts ran wild. “Leon you bastard. You son of a bitch. What are you doin’ with that low down, no good, dirty, two-time losin’ sleaze-ball? I could kill that son of a bitch. I could kill you Leon for not already killin’ that son of a bitch. You God damn piece of shit. Sittin’ back and doin’ nothin’ the whole damn time. Suckin’ up all the glory. Sure, your the now and I’m the past. But I made you the now Leon. I eroded the path for your rise. Now you take it with not gratitude, as if you readied the rise solo. Damn you. I created you and you‘ve takin’ what should have been mine. You’ve created that man and that man will surely take what should’ve been mine from you.” He spun the stool and landed his eye on the liquid selection. He knocked his knuckles on the counter and with it came the attention of the bar tender. The tender began pointing at various bottles and for each Verne signaled a negative. He shook his head and motioned for intimacy.

The tender slapped a towel from his neck onto the counter, advanced and leaned close to Verne. “Keep ya’ voice down and speak easy. What do ya’ want?”

Verne sat back. “What do ya’ got?”

The tender waved his hand across the large selection. “Come on guy this is a Speak Easy. We got the liquid truth, the fluid medicine. We got alcohol. Anything you want.”

“Don’t you guys got some kinda’ special of the night or somthin’ like that.”

“Well I can suggest this here.” He pulled a brown bottle off the shelf. “It’s cheap, but it does its job.”

Verne placed his hand on his forehead and his elbow on the counter as he nodded. “Okay.” One glass crept into his mouth and then exited again just as fast. “Are you kiddin’ me? What is this splash? Goddamn monkey rum. Get me somethin’ good.”

The tender glared at him and took back the glass as he grabbed a new bottle. Verne continued. “I can’t believe this joint sells that polluted runoff. Damn armatures do business here, disgracing the good stuff. Don’t you know that polluted stuff kills people? This whole goddamn place is floppin’. This place used to be top quality….” Something caught Verne’s eye. “Wait a minute. What’s that?…. Give me that.”

Two bottles of O.B. White Lightening sat on the bottom shelf. “That’s my… That’s my brew.” Verne exclaimed. “I can’t believe it makes it all the way out here!” With his two shaking hands, he emptied two glasses and the beat in his head slowed to a distant hollow echo.
A hand slid onto his shoulder. The voice of Leon sounded. “Hey Verne. I need ya’ to come help us out on the docks. Lance is about to make a run for another shipment. Ya’ get a boat ride if ya’ come with. Plus we need a new voice to call off the guards.”

Verne shrugged.

Leon’s voice brightened. “Come on you’ll enjoy.”

Three hours later Verne slowly retuned to his seat. The bar was sparsely populated and the music had long stopped. He sat down heavily, with a tux soiled with dirt. He popped his neck and slammed his fist on the counter. Bottles slid his way and he finished two and began with more. He filled his throat until the stool became smaller and smaller, until it became more and more round. More glasses filled then emptied. His arms became heavy, his mind became empty and a deep heat spread throughout his body. His eyes grew droopy and he spun on the cushion as the stool spun in the spinning room. He left the bottles dry until the spine of his back felt the floor.

Four white-walled Daytons planted their rubber beside the curb outside a brick house. Leon circled the car front to Verne's side and struggled to elevate him. At the door, Leon knocked and called for entrance. “Zoey. Open up! Come on! Verne's heavy.”

There was no reply.

“Come on! Alright, Verne, we’re gonna’ have to do this our selves.” He laid him against the entrance wall to the door. He leaned down to Verne and patted his cheek near the gash. Verne snapped into consciousness and grabbed Leon's patting hand firmly.

Leon attempted to pull away. “Calm down Mousetrap, it’s just me.”

Verne's eyes again fell shut.

Leon patted his face on the other cheek. “Come on, Verne. Where’s ya’ keys at?”

Verne sloppily motioned to his slack pockets. Leon sent his hands in search. Again, Verne's hand gripped Leon's wrist in an instant, his eyes wide-awake and staring in Leon's. Leon began warningly. “Hey, knock it off. What’s the big idea? Let go, Verne. I told you already, it’s me.”

Verne's head rolled back again and Leon arose to the door. “What the hell’s your problem?” Leon mumbled. He plugged the key and the door gave. Into the main room they spilled. Leon dropped Verne on a couch directly a few feet in front of the door.

Zoey came peaking around the stair wall. “I thought someone was breakin’ in.”

“Here.” Leon handed Zoey the keys.

“Where’d you fellas’ go?”

“Lance’s ol’ Speak Easy across town.”

“How many?” she asked warily.

“291 dollars worth. By 1:00 he was fallin’ off the stool.” Leon spoke as if he was amused by Verne.

She sighed in disgust. “He always does this. Goes out and spends all his money. On that poison.”

Verne's eyelids shuttered throughout the conversation, catching quick glimpses at Zoey and Leon standing over him. The room was a blur and everything within it seemed to orbit. The images faded.

Zoey wrapped an arm around her stomach. “I’ve made a big mistake, Leo. A real big one.”

“What might that be?”

Oblivious to her words she recognized and modified their direction. “Oh, nothing I just… I broke something that’s all.”

“Oh. Come on. Grab his feet. Help me get’em upstairs.”

“No way. I hate when he’s like this, I don’t want him next to me or anywhere near my bed.”

“Alright.” Leon turned to Verne and slipped a pillow under his head.

Leon leaned down and patted Verne‘s cheek. “Now don’t forget, Verne, tribute’s this Friday.” Leon transcended the exit


We all know that each of our end is near; the question is do we accept the end of our living existence, or do we accept our existence as dead men...
Deadly-Sin Date: Tuesday, 25/Nov/08, 11:08 AM | Message # 24

Removed
Nice! i really liked it, man im going to write a full story soon
it wont be just random stuff its a story i had in my head for a while
il post it as soon as i wrote the whole thing
Forum » Off-Topic » Creative Writing » "MadCap" by I_Guy (Crime Drama (1920s Chicago))
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