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Forum moderator: I_Guy, eboyd, El_Matador

Egotism ((A new poem by me))

Egotism

eboyd

Date: Tuesday, 10/Mar/09, 4:13 AM | Message # 31

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then what would i change it with? if i just strike it out, like you said, i mess up the structure. i was actually thinking exactly that too before you said it so obviously we are on the same frequency. come on, help me out biggrin

my new theme song

erikboyd60@hotmail.com

"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"

-T.S. Eliot

battle record:

7-0-0

I_Guy

Date: Tuesday, 10/Mar/09, 4:22 AM | Message # 32

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Hmmm. I don't want to rewrite your stuff. I get super unsure when it has to do with someone else's writing.

Now you first said "supposed" so I infer that you want to maintain a sardonic approach? I'll have to think about how to maintain that.

Just some ideas for a different approach, I was thinking maybe, "a(n) (entire) world (/) of (/) selfless acts / based on pride" or "every million / selfless acts / based on pride" Maybe...? unsure blink

We all know that each of our end is near; the question is do we accept the end of our living existence, or do we accept our existence as dead men...

Egotism ((A new poem by me))

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