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Egotism
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| eboyd |
Date: Sunday, 08/Mar/09, 5:06 PM | Message # 1 |
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Posts: 13145
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This is a poem I wrote just now actually. I'll probably revise it a bit and I could use help in doing so if anyone wants to help, but for now this is what I have. I haven't even checked the meter, but I think I'm getting to the point where that is unnecessary. Anyways... Egotism They say suicide is selfish
But aren't we all
A bit self-centered;
Every supposed
Selfless act
Based on pride? Could it not be said
That every action
Is a reaction of egotism?
We are all truly selfish inside. I've had thoughts of bringing
My life to an end--
To begin my eternal sleep--
But would I
Truly benefit
From my demise? Through all my hardships,
I still wish
That life was eternal.
I guess I'm truly selfish inside.
my new theme song
erikboyd60@hotmail.com
"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"
-T.S. Eliot
battle record:
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| eboyd |
Date: Sunday, 08/Mar/09, 5:21 PM | Message # 2 |
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Heads
Posts: 13145
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Btw, what is truly unique about this piece is that I wrote the first two stanzas and the last two in completely contrasting moods and it shows. I wrote the first two when I was depressed and feeling pity for myself and I waited a bit and wrote the last two is a more happy and rational state of mind. It's pretty interesting and unique and the only editing I have done was during writing it. I'd like some feedback please! Thanks.
my new theme song
erikboyd60@hotmail.com
"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"
-T.S. Eliot
battle record:
7-0-0
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| Lord_Meth |
Date: Sunday, 08/Mar/09, 5:22 PM | Message # 3 |
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Posts: 6627
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sweet poem Erik Im not a poet so I dont really kno how a "expert" would judge this but its dope
Sick With It
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| eboyd |
Date: Sunday, 08/Mar/09, 5:29 PM | Message # 4 |
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Heads
Posts: 13145
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Thanks. I'd also like to hear opinions on what people took from it. An artist always likes to hear, even if he acts like he doesn't, the effect his art has on society.
my new theme song
erikboyd60@hotmail.com
"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"
-T.S. Eliot
battle record:
7-0-0
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| Menace |
Date: Sunday, 08/Mar/09, 5:44 PM | Message # 5 |
Heads
Posts: 6764
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to much Emo like at the end but its cool  LOL no on the real tough its mad cool and the subject you put on forth and the questions are very interesting
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| eboyd |
Date: Sunday, 08/Mar/09, 5:47 PM | Message # 6 |
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Heads
Posts: 13145
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Thanks man
my new theme song
erikboyd60@hotmail.com
"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"
-T.S. Eliot
battle record:
7-0-0
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| eboyd |
Date: Sunday, 08/Mar/09, 7:17 PM | Message # 7 |
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Heads
Posts: 13145
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bump
my new theme song
erikboyd60@hotmail.com
"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"
-T.S. Eliot
battle record:
7-0-0
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| EmSeeD |
Date: Sunday, 08/Mar/09, 7:26 PM | Message # 8 |
Heads
Posts: 11464
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Quote (eboyd)
I still wish
That life was eternal.
I guess I'm truly selfish inside. i really like the last few lines. it was cool how it seemed sarcastic at the end so it might also be why i liked those lines.
http://chirbit.com/emseed
http://youtube.com/siwooot
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| eboyd |
Date: Sunday, 08/Mar/09, 7:36 PM | Message # 9 |
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Heads
Posts: 13145
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lol! yeah, i guess a little. thanks man.
my new theme song
erikboyd60@hotmail.com
"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"
-T.S. Eliot
battle record:
7-0-0
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| Chinita |
Date: Sunday, 08/Mar/09, 8:16 PM | Message # 10 |
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Posts: 5823
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Quote (eboyd) Btw, what is truly unique about this piece is that I wrote the first two stanzas and the last two in completely contrasting moods and it shows. I wrote the first two when I was depressed and feeling pity for myself and I waited a bit and wrote the last two is a more happy and rational state of mind. It's pretty interesting and unique and the only editing I have done was during writing it. I'd like some feedback please! Thanks.
i love the poem, that shows your mood will affect your writeing and i think your writing can affect your mood lol if that makes any sense..but goes to show, never make any final decisions when you aren't thinking straight, when your not in your right state of mind. you see things alot different and alot clearer a few hours later or a day..
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| eboyd |
Date: Sunday, 08/Mar/09, 9:39 PM | Message # 11 |
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Heads
Posts: 13145
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yeah, so true. i liked writing this because i'm not just making one statement, i'm asking several questions and stating several things. it's about egotism but it's also about the philosophy of life, depression, overcoming depression, etc. i loved that part of writing it.
my new theme song
erikboyd60@hotmail.com
"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"
-T.S. Eliot
battle record:
7-0-0
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| eboyd |
Date: Sunday, 08/Mar/09, 10:58 PM | Message # 12 |
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Heads
Posts: 13145
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bumpity.
my new theme song
erikboyd60@hotmail.com
"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"
-T.S. Eliot
battle record:
7-0-0
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| eboyd |
Date: Sunday, 08/Mar/09, 11:06 PM | Message # 13 |
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Heads
Posts: 13145
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my new theme song
erikboyd60@hotmail.com
"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"
-T.S. Eliot
battle record:
7-0-0
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| I_Guy |
Date: Sunday, 08/Mar/09, 11:59 PM | Message # 14 |
Heads
Posts: 1792
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All good poems question the reader. And all good poems introduce something new at the end. This one did. It couldn't have ended better.
We all know that each of our end is near; the question is do we accept the end of our living existence, or do we accept our existence as dead men...
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| eboyd |
Date: Monday, 09/Mar/09, 0:37 AM | Message # 15 |
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Heads
Posts: 13145
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Quote (I_Guy) All good poems question the reader. And all good poems introduce something new at the end. This one did. It couldn't have ended better. thank you very much man. yeah, i'm well aware of that. i have probably studied in some of the same creative writing courses as you. what did you get from it? any constructive criticism?
my new theme song
erikboyd60@hotmail.com
"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"
-T.S. Eliot
battle record:
7-0-0
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