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Forum » Off-Topic » Creative Writing » ****ALL NEW POEM: Don't Judge Me****
****ALL NEW POEM: Don't Judge Me****
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Answers total: 14
eboyd Date: Saturday, 14/Nov/09, 4:45 PM | Message # 1

Heads
Posts: 13145
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I lied. Now read my poem.

This is my newest poem. This is my first draft so changes will come and I would appreciate others assisting me in the revising process by pointing things out that may need improvement. In fact, if you have an opinion that you want to express and you do not and I can tell that you are holding back, I will most definitely be disappointed, even if it is an opinion on my choice of topic. I also will not post the meaning of the poem, because if it is good enough, it will require no assistance in telling it's story. Here it is:

Don't Judge Me

Don't judge me.

I am that which surrounds,
And at every moment is,
And in every corner.
I am not here nor there,
Yet I am each without time's passage;
Everywhere, yet nowhere at once;
And you know of me,
For my breath has caressed your thoughts;
My voice is sewn in the fabric of your dreams;
My essence flows within your soul.

I have not pressed my palm upon yours to reveal my warmth;
Your eyes have yet to yield upon mine to focus on my words,
And so as I speak, a near deafening silence is felt;
Your tongue has not licked the wounds of my battle scars;
You have not awoken to my arrival to embrace me late at night, knowing it was me because of the fragrance that trails;

But do not judge me,
For there is another sense by which you can know --
By which you can be certain --
That I am with you.

And so wise men have told you
That this sense is unreliable,
That it is foolish to obey,

But do not judge me.

Do not judge me on the nights,
When you are cold,
And you call my name,
And I am not there,
Or the days,
When you feel as though
Continuing on is fruitless,
For I assure you
I am watching
And I know
That it will be made right.

And if you pass in the morning
With much work left unfinished
Know that it was in due course,

But do not judge me.

I am frail.
In all my might, your judgment brings me pain.
Love me eternally,
Even when I let you down,
For without me
You are nothing.
I am your essence as well as my own --
Your very inner-being.

Do not loathe me,
For loathing is judgment's evil cousin
And in death they will leave you empty
But I will fill you with love.

I am love,
And so if you love me,
I will as well in return,
But my love is infinite
And eternal,

So do not judge me.

And though when I caress your thoughts
I grasp them to assure they do not escape,
And when I say I am sewn into your dreams
I mean the opposite,
And when I am compared to a river flowing in your soul
I would be better described as a flood from torrential rain,
I still do not deserve judgment
And you should love me eternally,

So please, do not judge me.
Love me.

-------EDIT--------

Don't judge me.

I am that which surrounds,
And at every moment is,
And in every corner.
I am not here nor there,
Yet I am each without time's passage;
Everywhere, yet nowhere at once;
And you know of me,
For my breath has caressed your thoughts;
My voice is sewn in the fabric of your dreams;
My essence flows within your soul.

I have not pressed my palm upon yours to reveal my warmth;
Your eyes have yet to yield upon mine to focus on my words,
And so as I speak, a near deafening silence is heard;
Your tongue has not licked my wounds;
You have not awoken to embrace me late at night, knowing that it is me by my scent;

But do not judge me,
For there is another sense by which you can know --
By which you can be certain --
That I am with you.

And so wise men have told you
That this sense is unreliable,
That it is foolish to obey,

But do not judge me.

Do not judge me on the nights,
When you are cold,
And you call my name,
And I am not there,
Or the days,
When you feel as though
Continuing on is fruitless,
For I assure you
I am watching
And I know
That it will be made right.

And if you pass in the morning
With much work left unfinished
Know that it was in due course,

But do not judge me.

I am frail.
In all my might, your judgment brings me pain.
Love me eternally,
Even when I let you down,
For without me
You are nothing.
I am your essence as well as my own --
Your very inner-being.

Do not loathe me,
For loathing is judgment's evil cousin
And in death they will leave you empty
But I will fill you with love.

I am love,
And so if you love me,
I will as well in return,
But my love is infinite
And eternal,

So do not judge me.

And though when I caress your thoughts
I grasp them to assure they do not escape,
And when I say I am sewn into your dreams
I mean that they are furled around my finger,
And when I am compared to a river flowing in your soul
I would be better described as a flood from torrential rain,
I still do not deserve judgment
And you must love me eternally,

So please, do not judge me.
Love me.


my new theme song



erikboyd60@hotmail.com

"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"

-T.S. Eliot

battle record:

7-0-0

eboyd Date: Thursday, 17/Dec/09, 5:20 PM | Message # 61

Heads
Posts: 13145
Reputation: 2
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rofl

lol @ rhymes. where did i rhyme?!?!?! LMFAO!


my new theme song



erikboyd60@hotmail.com

"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"

-T.S. Eliot

battle record:

7-0-0

eboyd Date: Wednesday, 30/Dec/09, 4:52 PM | Message # 62

Heads
Posts: 13145
Reputation: 2
Offline
Probably someone who knows first hand that the truth hurts.

my new theme song



erikboyd60@hotmail.com

"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"

-T.S. Eliot

battle record:

7-0-0

Montana213 Date: Sunday, 31/Jan/10, 11:23 PM | Message # 63

Emcees
Posts: 806
Reputation: 0
Offline
awful give up on the writing..... jk bro its pretty good

Can't turn back my eyes on the prize
I got nothing to lose
everybody gotta die
say good-bye to the bad guy

eboyd Date: Monday, 01/Feb/10, 2:48 AM | Message # 64

Heads
Posts: 13145
Reputation: 2
Offline
lol thx man

my new theme song



erikboyd60@hotmail.com

"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"

-T.S. Eliot

battle record:

7-0-0

Mystic-Rymes Date: Saturday, 09/Oct/10, 5:05 PM | Message # 65

Rappers
Posts: 10
Reputation: 0
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if you did this poetry ish im sure you would blow up and be really big (pause)

nah but realy it was mean... good work
A++++

Added (09/Oct/10, 5:05 PM)
---------------------------------------------
oh and also thanx for owning me in the txt battle thing:'(


xoxox
eboyd Date: Saturday, 23/Oct/10, 2:41 AM | Message # 66

Heads
Posts: 13145
Reputation: 2
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Hahaha, thanks :D no hard feelings, right? :) lol.

my new theme song



erikboyd60@hotmail.com

"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"

-T.S. Eliot

battle record:

7-0-0

Mystic-Rymes Date: Monday, 08/Nov/10, 9:40 PM | Message # 67

Rappers
Posts: 10
Reputation: 0
Offline
well you know you do look like a woman basher because you owned me so bad... so i guess the damange is done :D

xoxox
eboyd Date: Monday, 08/Nov/10, 10:32 PM | Message # 68

Heads
Posts: 13145
Reputation: 2
Offline
hahahahahaha!

my new theme song



erikboyd60@hotmail.com

"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"

-T.S. Eliot

battle record:

7-0-0

Adam Date: Tuesday, 09/Nov/10, 1:08 PM | Message # 69

B-Girls
Posts: 3793
Reputation: 5
Offline
sexist bastard




I JUST EXPLODED INTO RAINBOWS AND LOLLIPOPS!
El_Matador Date: Tuesday, 09/Nov/10, 2:34 PM | Message # 70

Heads
Posts: 3347
Reputation: 2
Offline
haha Mystic cracked me up hahahaha

MENACE 2 JOKER: Go back to Mexico you damn spic
JOKER 2 MENACE: Shut up you fake nigga your a damn sand nigger not a full nigger

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