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Forum moderator: I_Guy, eboyd, El_Matador  
Forum » Off-Topic » Creative Writing » Your Country
Your Country
El_Matador Date: Sunday, 21/Feb/10, 6:22 PM | Message # 1

Heads
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 Just started with writing that poem (but I think it'll turn into hip-hop lyrics). It's ummmm... an early beta version. Tell me what do u think

Two eyes blind but the third one can explore
Cos my third eye is the eye of the storm
I see the war in the rawest form
Ocean of blood in the storm
I see dead talents on the shore
Wasted breaths on the microphone
Of rappers and politics, they're now the same whore
Empire falls along with people's faith
Fire in their scars, their privacy they'll desecrate
Stuck in the mire, screaming to the stars with hate
Columbus came here to discover me
Self-proclaimed civilized people wrote my history
From Boston Tea Party to KKK poverty
And now the whole world follows me solemnly
What's my name? Say it, break the mystery

MENACE 2 JOKER: Go back to Mexico you damn spic
JOKER 2 MENACE: Shut up you fake nigga your a damn sand nigger not a full nigger

Menace Date: Sunday, 21/Feb/10, 6:25 PM | Message # 2

Heads
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 wow simply wow i never expected such depth from a macho man like El Matador LOL :D .
El_Matador Date: Sunday, 21/Feb/10, 6:29 PM | Message # 3

Heads
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Quote (Menace)
wow simply wow i never expected such depth from a macho man like El Matador LOL

I was very curious about your opinion. I knew you'll like this type of shit about your fav country :D

MENACE 2 JOKER: Go back to Mexico you damn spic
JOKER 2 MENACE: Shut up you fake nigga your a damn sand nigger not a full nigger

ilikebacon3000 Date: Sunday, 21/Feb/10, 6:34 PM | Message # 4

Emcees
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 dude i really like this... it's like a stream of conciseness put into words.
Life's a bitch and I'm just along for the ride.
EmSeeD Date: Sunday, 21/Feb/10, 6:55 PM | Message # 5

Heads
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 wow thats really sick, i like it
http://chirbit.com/emseed
http://youtube.com/siwooot
abanks47 Date: Sunday, 21/Feb/10, 9:59 PM | Message # 6

Emcees
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 although it seems a bit stereotypical i no that it wasn't intended as a history listen. good shit dude. at least we aint a bunch of niggers in this poem (dont catch feelings yall, just a bad joke)
A WELL DRESSED SKELETON SLOWLY CUTS YOUR THROAT.

"I Have No Fear Whatsoever of Anybody or Anything" -Malcolm X

“those who consider themselves the most adamant adherents of “real” hip-hop can also be the least knowledgeable.” –Adilifu Nama; an excert from his perception of Nas’s “Genesis”

El_Matador Date: Sunday, 21/Feb/10, 10:36 PM | Message # 7

Heads
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Quote (abanks47)
although it seems a bit stereotypical i no that it wasn't intended as a history listen.

no, I only share my personal feelings about America

Quote (abanks47)
at least we aint a bunch of niggers in this poem (dont catch feelings yall, just a bad joke)

last time I facepalmed so hard it was when infamous-like-mobb-deep 8diagrams cracked some joke... please, abanks, you're a cool dude (no homo), you don't have to crack jokes. lol :D

MENACE 2 JOKER: Go back to Mexico you damn spic
JOKER 2 MENACE: Shut up you fake nigga your a damn sand nigger not a full nigger

abanks47 Date: Sunday, 21/Feb/10, 10:43 PM | Message # 8

Emcees
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 haha, naw last couple of poems ive seen here have all been about niggers, niggas, etc in america. just glad to not be reminded for once
Quote (El_Matador)
please, abanks, you're a cool dude (no homo)

:'( you too man
A WELL DRESSED SKELETON SLOWLY CUTS YOUR THROAT.

"I Have No Fear Whatsoever of Anybody or Anything" -Malcolm X

“those who consider themselves the most adamant adherents of “real” hip-hop can also be the least knowledgeable.” –Adilifu Nama; an excert from his perception of Nas’s “Genesis”

El_Matador Date: Sunday, 21/Feb/10, 10:49 PM | Message # 9

Heads
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Quote (abanks47)
:'( you too man

:'( let's go drinking

MENACE 2 JOKER: Go back to Mexico you damn spic
JOKER 2 MENACE: Shut up you fake nigga your a damn sand nigger not a full nigger

Aristotle Date: Monday, 22/Feb/10, 0:11 AM | Message # 10

OGs
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 great stuff man.

Youtube Channel
Lord_Meth Date: Monday, 22/Feb/10, 4:28 PM | Message # 11

Heads
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 TYYYYGHT!!!!!
Sick With It
Uncharted Date: Monday, 22/Feb/10, 5:28 PM | Message # 12

Emcees
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 this is great
....
Dookie Date: Tuesday, 23/Feb/10, 6:06 AM | Message # 13

Emcees
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 da ^^ great stuff.
Intelligence is the understanding of self - Bruce Lee
Montana213 Date: Wednesday, 24/Feb/10, 9:42 PM | Message # 14

Emcees
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 had no idea you wrote poetry, not to mention poetry this good
pretty deep bro
5/5 keep up the good shit
Can't turn back my eyes on the prize
I got nothing to lose
everybody gotta die
say good-bye to the bad guy

Chinita Date: Friday, 26/Feb/10, 4:47 PM | Message # 15

Heads
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Quote (El_Matador)
Two eyes blind but the third one can explore
Cos my third eye is the eye of the storm
I see the war in the rawest form
Ocean of blood in the storm
I see dead talents on the shore
Wasted breaths on the microphone
Of rappers and politics, they're now the same whore
Empire falls along with people's faith
Fire in their scars, their privacy they'll will desecrate
Stuck in the mire, screaming to the stars with hate
Columbus came here to discover me
Self-proclaimed civilized people wrote my history
From Boston Tea Party to KKK poverty
And now the whole world follows me solemnly
What's my name? Say it, break the mystery

wow miguel that's awesome, i'm very impressed, u have improved awhole lot in ur writing.

Forum » Off-Topic » Creative Writing » Your Country
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