The Comedy Cypher!!!!

Date: Friday, 26/Feb/10, 2:03 PM | Message # 1

Heads

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Alright, so the entire point of this thread is to try to write a verse so funny that when someone reads it they piss themselves laughing. I'll start to show you fucks how it's done

So I was walking down the street cold acting hard/
Making my way down the boulevard/
When this stupid motherfucker came 'round my way/
Straight being a bitch and acting gay/
I asked him for directions and I wanted to fold him/
Because he kept playing games so this is what I told him/
I said "stop calling me dog and making me beg/
Or I'ma whip out my dick and take a piss on your leg"/
He wouldn't be serious so I fucking did it/
Pissed on his leg and then I even shitted/
We went to trial but I was acquitted/
Until I went up to him and had his wig splitted/
So I was on the run again from the cops, oh fuck!/
Reduced to a life of "run, hide, duck!"/
And all of a sudden the cops caught up to me/
That's when I realized they were just trying to fuck with me/
When the man caught me, my ass was booked/
I just sat around and noticed when I looked/
The man was vested. I was detected/
In no way was I lucky/
I got arrested, but the cop was dyslexic/
So he fucked me/

erikboyd60@hotmail.com

"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"

-T.S. Eliot

battle record:

7-0-0

Date: Friday, 26/Feb/10, 2:15 PM | Message # 2

Emcees

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lol that ones pretty good... i'll try to think of one

El_Matador

Date: Friday, 26/Feb/10, 2:15 PM | Message # 3

Heads

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Quote (eboyd)

I got arrested, but the cop was dyslexic/
So he fucked me/

You want comedy verses or gay verses? Cos there is a difference. lol

MENACE 2 JOKER: Go back to Mexico you damn spic
JOKER 2 MENACE: Shut up you fake nigga your a damn sand nigger not a full nigger

Date: Friday, 26/Feb/10, 2:20 PM | Message # 4

Heads

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Lol dude, there's gay comedy as well

besides, you don't get it?

The cop was dyslexic, so they told him to cuff me. Cuff backwards = ffuc rofl

erikboyd60@hotmail.com

"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"

-T.S. Eliot

battle record:

7-0-0

Date: Friday, 26/Feb/10, 2:23 PM | Message # 5

Emcees

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Quote (El_Matador)

You want comedy verses or gay verses? Cos there is a difference. lol

i like big dick and i can not lie/
and you other brothers can't deny/
that when a guy walks in with itty bitty legs/
and a big thing in in your face/
you get sprung you wanna pull out your cock/

Added (26/Feb/10, 2:23 Pm)
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Quote (eboyd)

The cop was dyslexic, so they told him to cuff me. Cuff backwards = ffuc

ohhhhh... now i feel weird :'(

El_Matador

Date: Friday, 26/Feb/10, 2:29 PM | Message # 6

Heads

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Quote (eboyd)

Lol dude, there's gay comedy as well

besides, you don't get it?

The cop was dyslexic, so they told him to cuff me. Cuff backwards = ffuc rofl

I know. If you want pervy perv shit, you got it. lol

I be bustin, disgusting, my cock is awesome
With my thumb in your ass like Marilyn Manson
And the survey says - you're raped by mace
Like Peter North exploded all over your fuckin face
Mr.... Who was that? Ayyo! The Pervert is back!
When you running from the cannon of Mr. Supercock
Me-rape-everyone, oh no, look, here come
Sperm-shotgun, killer for your mum

IF YA WANT SEX THEN BRING THE COCKUS
RHHF GOT SEXY BOYS TO FUCK WITH!

MENACE 2 JOKER: Go back to Mexico you damn spic
JOKER 2 MENACE: Shut up you fake nigga your a damn sand nigger not a full nigger

Lord_Meth

Date: Friday, 26/Feb/10, 4:58 PM | Message # 7

Heads

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^^^^^El Mat LMFAO dude ur hilarious

I was sitting in class one day taking some notes
Then the young lady sitting behind me started to choke
I tried to ignore her but she kept coughing louder and louder
Then wet stuff hit my neck and I wanted to pound her
I whirled around and stared the bitch in the eyes
And she started throwing up white stuff to my surprise
I screamed wat's wrong with u bitch! You must be dumb!
Then she said sorry I'm not use to being forced to swallow cum
I asked wat were u doing swallowing cum in school??
She said me and Mr. Boyd was sitting down by the pool
I was in my bikini bottoms swimming laps for practice
He was by the diving board, watching the girls do backflips
Backflips? This has nothing to do with cum getting in your mouth
He asked me to come to the storage room and figure something out
He pulled down his pants and said his thing wouldnt shoot
I tried rubbing it to get it and it was true
So he said c'mon girl maybe ur mouth might work better
Then I got on my knees and his cock just grew bigger
My eyes got big. This dumb bitch sucked up the english teacher
But yet the filthy whore wouldnt bop me up the past winter
Why u give him head? U kno that makes you a rotten bitch?
She smiled and said too bad I didnt tell him I said Syphilis

Sick With It

Date: Friday, 26/Feb/10, 6:02 PM | Message # 8

Heads

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Quote (Lord_Meth)

rofl it is only fitting that i would be a perverted English teacher in your story

erikboyd60@hotmail.com

"True poetry can communicate before it is understood"

-T.S. Eliot

battle record:

7-0-0

Lord_Meth

Date: Friday, 26/Feb/10, 6:06 PM | Message # 9

Heads

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Quote (eboyd)

it is only fitting that i would be a perverted English teacher in your story

Haha indeed lol very creative and unexpected

More people need to get in this lol this is fun

Sick With It

ilikebacon3000

Date: Friday, 26/Feb/10, 6:41 PM | Message # 10

Emcees

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This is an abstract poem called, "The joy in painful anal sex with family members"

As I feel you slide in my tight hole, moving in and out
I grab your 2 inch tube and stick it in my mouth
Then you tell me your going to tell dad about what we are doing
But I say, "Shut the fuck up Gary, Screw me"
Soon enough, father hears our moaning and groaning
and he comes in, he joins in and holds me
He holds me tight, then he FUCKS ME.

I lied. I didn't write that. Found it on Gamefaq's one day when someone was committing account suicide.

Life's a bitch and I'm just along for the ride.

EmSeeD

Date: Friday, 26/Feb/10, 10:18 PM | Message # 11

Heads

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ah entrance at the back door, this is where it is,
now on the count of four, we're gonna come n bust these lyricists,
go down and mount the door with c4, ah oh who's got the sedatives?
it was barred but we blew it hard, shit quickly got all sticky and hot,
entered slowly, come inside, guns high, nowhere to hide, then we were in shock,
made our whole troop stall n stop, it was a group full of cock,
el matador the whore said a cock line here, eboyd a cock rhyme there,
crying lying on the floor coz one was so tight on the mic he made his cock tear,

little perverted fucks and such, what the fuck you think this is?
bacon looking shaken came over with a flame thrower,
said he's gonna blow me slowly made me fuckin throw up,
i tossed agent x, he went flying into him,
nearly missed, bacon severly burnt him to a crisp,
wish he learned not to diss, he wouldn't listen,
when i found a chicken, ready steady aim is locked,
i cocked the cock and cocked a cocks cock
what happened after that??? i dunno i forgot

http://chirbit.com/emseed
http://youtube.com/siwooot

Date: Friday, 26/Feb/10, 10:28 PM | Message # 12

Emcees

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Quote (EmSeeD)

i like to lick the tip, cover it in spit and watch it gliten,
yep i was sucking on my index finger, when my boss shouted LISTEN!!,
agent sex, take your finger out your ass, you got another mission,
i took it out gently, look at him intently, as he sent me,
down to RHHF head quarters, thats where the man brought us,
me and my cream team, to stop some hot shots
looking for thee american dream.
ah entrance at the back door, this is where it is,
now on the count of four, we're gonna come n bust these lyricists,
go down and mount the door with c4, ah oh who's got the sedatives?
it was barred but we blew it hard, shit quickly got all sticky and hot,
entered slowly, come inside, guns high, nowhere to hide, then we were in shock,
made our whole troop stall n stop, it was a group full of cock,
el matador the whore said a cock line here, eboyd a cock rhyme there,
crying lying on the floor coz one was so tight on the mic he made his cock tear,
to be continued

jesus christ... i didn't think you could do something so insanely gay!!! *claps*

Added (26/Feb/10, 10:28 Pm)
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and also extremely lyrical and gay... now i feel like i have to make a better one...
this should be changed to the gay cypher... "The Gay Cypher!!! (no homo)"

EmSeeD

Date: Friday, 26/Feb/10, 10:42 PM | Message # 13

Heads

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Quote (HateMainstreamMusic)

now i feel like i have to make a better one...

lol don't worry, i'm too harsh on my own lyrics so i have to make it good in my head, i was thinking of Kool G Rap's Ill Street Blues when i was writing it. and right now i can't think of any straight stories that are funny, maybe i'm just too lazy to try

http://chirbit.com/emseed
http://youtube.com/siwooot

Date: Friday, 26/Feb/10, 10:52 PM | Message # 14

Emcees

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mm baby boy you ready for some sexy fun?
Let's get that sexy agent x to hump,
two cocks better than one,
4 cocks twice the fun,
lyrical sperm blastin in your face,
i'll be the master you'll be slave,
wanna see emseed, get in me?
how about bacon get his ass shakin,
no homo but i like that butthole,
we no freaks thats how we roll,
oh fuck, lick my balls, bite a bit,
i'm not scared baby slide it in,
fuck me harder don't stop at all,
i'm cummin! wait don't stop!!!,
now fuck look i got blue balls,
fine now its my turn to suck that cock,
to be continued

Added (26/Feb/10, 10:44 Pm)
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you'res was a more of story... but i'm not a story telling mc
i'ma lyrical sperm blasta

Added (26/Feb/10, 10:49 Pm)
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Quote (Lord_Meth)

pretty damn funny too.. and it wasn't gay.. plus rep

Added (26/Feb/10, 10:52 Pm)
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Quote (El_Matador)

I know. If you want pervy perv shit, you got it. lol

IF YA WANT SEX THEN BRING THE COCKUS
RHHF GOT SEXY BOYS TO FUCK WITH!

best spin on a song ever

Date: Friday, 26/Feb/10, 10:56 PM | Message # 15

Heads

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Broadcast to all ye local emcees:/
I would like you all to get on your knees/
And blow me because it's obvious that you all swallow/
I burned my rhyme path so that you can't follow/
Every mic I've ever picked up I've blessed/
I do whatever I want and I could care less/
I'll abduct your magazine editor and have him write that my album sucks/
And that fans shouldn't bother wasting their fifteen bucks/
Sell 20 copies of my CD infected with VD/
At the AIDS walk to families of kids with HIV/
I'm crazy. I'll even take a dump on stage/
Go on a rampage and piss on the crowd during police raid/