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Untitled Poem I Need Help With
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| eboyd_ |
Date: Friday, 26/Dec/08, 5:58 PM | Message # 1 |
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Here's the first (longer) version: The shadow
That one casts
Will fade as he passes. If he strikes a stone
Along the way
His mark will be inscribed
Forever in it's place. And here's the second version: The shadow
That one casts
Will fade as he passes. If he strikes a stone
Along the way
His mark will be
inscribed forever.
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| Acekat00o |
Date: Friday, 26/Dec/08, 6:00 PM | Message # 2 |
Heads
Posts: 1642
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1 version sounds more epic and literate
Graffiti
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| Acekat00o |
Date: Friday, 26/Dec/08, 6:01 PM | Message # 3 |
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Heads
Posts: 1642
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and btw erik can i upload your cipher and battle verses in Deviant Art for promoting the site? il give you credt
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| eboyd_ |
Date: Friday, 26/Dec/08, 6:05 PM | Message # 4 |
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Yes, but what is Deviant Art?
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| eboyd_ |
Date: Friday, 26/Dec/08, 6:23 PM | Message # 5 |
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Anyone else want to share their opinion?
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| Acekat00o |
Date: Friday, 26/Dec/08, 6:43 PM | Message # 6 |
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Posts: 1642
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Quote (eboyd) Yes, but what is Deviant Art?
www.deviantart.com its an art site whre you can upload your own art/literature/any tipe of art ,it has over 30 milion members
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| LyricalContent |
Date: Friday, 26/Dec/08, 6:45 PM | Message # 7 |
Emcees
Posts: 255
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I like the first one, the "in it's place" is a better lead off it will give the reader/hearer a better since of direction
For the preaching of the cross is to them that
perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God
1 Cor 1:18
http:
//www.youtube.com/user/thelastgreatone
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the Word of our God shall stand forever
is:40,8
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| eboyd_ |
Date: Friday, 26/Dec/08, 6:46 PM | Message # 8 |
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OK. In that case, can you show some of my poetry and my music too?
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| eboyd_ |
Date: Friday, 26/Dec/08, 6:48 PM | Message # 9 |
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Thanks LGO. Everyone else is telling me the same. What do you think overall? Any ideas for a name? I'm stumped.
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| LyricalContent |
Date: Friday, 26/Dec/08, 7:03 PM | Message # 10 |
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Emcees
Posts: 255
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"Casting Shadows" but that was off the top of the head i usually come up with my title first and then form my words around the title so i'm a lil different but I think some thing in that area would be good that was just to give you an idea you can play with it and see what you come up with
hope that helped
For the preaching of the cross is to them that
perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God
1 Cor 1:18
http:
//www.youtube.com/user/thelastgreatone
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the Word of our God shall stand forever
is:40,8
Message edited by LyricalContent - Friday, 26/Dec/08, 7:04 PM
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| eboyd_ |
Date: Friday, 26/Dec/08, 7:06 PM | Message # 11 |
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Thanks. That's helpful. That is an interesting method you use btw. Keeps your style unique. I like that. That way you have a set concept. I should try that sometime.
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| Boner-Jamz-11 |
Date: Friday, 26/Dec/08, 7:08 PM | Message # 12 |
Rappers
Posts: 3900
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1st version
#TeamHipster
#SWAGSWAG
TUMBLR CLICK CLICK CLICK!
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| eboyd_ |
Date: Friday, 26/Dec/08, 7:10 PM | Message # 13 |
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Thanks Blaze. How about "Marks & Shadows"?
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| LyricalContent |
Date: Friday, 26/Dec/08, 7:16 PM | Message # 14 |
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Emcees
Posts: 255
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yeah do that and see what you come up with, but the only thing is you don't have a lot of room to work with cause like you said the concept is pretty much set right from the beginning Added (08/Dec/26, 7:16 Pm)
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Quote (eboyd) How about "Marks & Shadows"?
that's nice i like that
For the preaching of the cross is to them that
perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God
1 Cor 1:18
http:
//www.youtube.com/user/thelastgreatone
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the Word of our God shall stand forever
is:40,8
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| eboyd_ |
Date: Friday, 26/Dec/08, 7:17 PM | Message # 15 |
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Yeah. Thanks for the help. Any constructive criticism here?
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